You are prone to paranoid thought, Virgo. Not everyone comes to bone chilling conclusions about each of their encounters as you do. There are people with gorgeous, whole, unmarred brains who would never like, assume that someone has climbed up the tree outside their window on a busy city avenue in order to watch them walk on their treadmill.
I’ve seen you speed walk on your treadmill, Virgo. So trust me when I tell you that there isn’t a person on earth who could take pleasure in that dull, desperate sight.
In your bedroom you have one of those old fireplaces that doesn’t work but is beautiful in its retirement. Should we call it a mantle? It’s your favorite part of your apartment, but you maintain a certain suspicion of this mantle, due to a decorative hole in the middle of it. Where does the hole…go? What’s in there? What could get out of there?
For the first several months of living in this apartment, each time you went to the bathroom in the middle of the night you’d picture a hand reaching out from the mantle hole (sorry but what else would it be called???) to viciously grab your leg.
When you find yourself accidentally gazing into the mantle’s abyss you avert your eyes quickly, terrified that a pair of eyes might look back at your one day. At first you were tempted to cover the mantle hole, by taping some sort of black circle over it so its seemingly infinite chasm wouldn’t scare you so much. But figuring out how to engineer such a feat was somehow a worse fate than imagining a cruel soul staring at you from within the mantle’s gaping hole.
Even if you did ever manage to gather the patience to assemble a cover over the mantle hole, wouldn’t your imagined scary mantle dweller be able to like, punch through it? Isn’t that his whole deal? That his arms are his instruments?
Some of your paranoias might be because you were born in the Mecca of serial killers (Washington state). When your mom was 13 years old she worked at a police station in Washington while they were investigating a high profile serial killer that was active in the area (whose name I won’t include because I have no interest in giving any more cache to horrible men who ruin lives). You recently asked your mom about this time in her life and at first she couldn’t remember which serial killer it was because there were so many there during that time!
The skies don’t think that the trend of Obsessing Over Serial Killers is charming or quirky or interesting, and we’re hopeful that it will end soon since it’s had a solid decade of being an available personality for people.
You aren’t excluded from this criticism, Virgo. In college you were deducted points in a speech class because you were “too happy” when you were talking about serial killers. So take a long look in the mirror before you think you’re immune to the astrological criticisms of humanity’s preoccupation with very bad men.
What was the angle of that speech even? From what the skies remember you presented a speech that was like, “Here is a list of crimes from the past.” Hard hitting stuff, Virgo.
You seem to glacially work through these paranoid thoughts on your own, but a new one always replaces the one that’s been bested. Right now you’re scared that someone will climb onto your fire escape, heave open your nine hundred thousand pound windows and like, loom over you during the night.
There is nothing reasonable for me to say here, Virgo, because reason has so little to do with the process of working through paranoia. What I can tell you, from what I see from the skies--you don’t need to worry about grand evil moments, like someone hiding in your mantle hole, locked and loaded waiting to grab your calf (you think a lot of your calves that you assume a person would live inside a chimney for weeks on end for one precious grab). Instead you should be much more worried about normal evil doings, like a grown adult person texting and driving. Why does anyone do that!! Stop doing that!!!